Home Is Where the Tatami Futon Is: 東京 (Pt. II)

I am writing this from the bottom bunk of my guesthouse room, while an older Japanese man of perhaps 45 or 50 occupies the bunk above me, drinking a Sapporo beer and eating ramen from a disposable bowl. He is lying down, completely submerged in blankets, his head and hands the sole arbiters, peeking out over the top to connect noodle-spooled chopsticks to lips. In his ears is a pair of headphones, his eyes fixed to a point approximately three feet in front of him—to a cell phone in a tiny display holster—on which a news program in Japanese is flickering in short-wave flashes. I have been here for two days and this is the first time I have seen him. Last night, presumably for New Year’s Eve, he was out with friends or co-workers, celebrating at a bonenkai party, held for the purpose of forgetting the past year’s troubles (literally) and welcoming the new. And so far, in the utter quiet and solitude of the room, we haven’t exchanged a word.

It’s not to say that I didn’t try. Upon first seeing him, I let out an enthusiastic konnichiwa, but it fell on deaf ears, like those of a 10-year old playing Wii. After meeting my other two bunkmates—one from Mexico and the other from Croatia—I did my best to be cordial, asking all of the requisite questions of two strangers meeting for the first time. I learned that they were both traveling on vacation, that they both had an interest in Japanese (though neither of them could speak it), and that they intended to come back better prepared in the future. By now, however, they have both left the guesthouse—the Croatian fellow back home, and the Mexican to stay with a friend living on the other side of Tokyo—and I am left in the shabby hull of a bedroom with a man who couldn’t care less about my existence.

But in some ways, this makes sense. According to some of the others I’ve talked to, he has lived here for almost two years, an absolutely astounding figure considering the general function of the guesthouse. Travelers who come and stay at the guesthouse usually do so for a maximum of a few days or weeks, earning him the unique distinction of a “lifer.” It means he’s probably met hundreds of different people—if you take into account all three of the surrounding bunks in the room—making me just one more in a line of nameless faces that he has no reason to remember. To his credit, establishing connections sometimes makes it all the more difficult to say goodbye. He is also significantly older than the rest of the crowd the guesthouse attracts—predominantly single mid-20’s backpackers who travel on a budget and don’t mind staying in cramped quarters. His story seems almost etched into Boo Radley-like lore—an older man living alone (at least emotionally), and of whom very little know about his personal life. Though, admittedly, his mystery is a little more transparent. He doesn’t live in some decidedly condemned house on the fringes of a small Alabama town. He lives, prostrate, three feet above my head. But yet, I still feel as though I’ve never seen his face.

The extent of my 4-person guesthouse room in the heart of Tokyo. That's my bunk on the bottom-left.

It was clear that he staked out the best corner of the room. Years (and I can actually say that) of residence have given him free reign to pick his spot and settle as other residents came and went. In reality, it’s hard to even call what we’re staying in a “bunk.” I’m sitting on a tatami mat, a hard slab of approximately three inches, over which lies a thin futon comforter that separates me from the floor. It was seemingly done in the style of a Japanese ryokan, but without the romantic kitsch of having a “traditional experience”—not to mention the bath, yukata, cushions, sliding doors, and fancy breakfasts that come part and parcel. This is the bare bones, a ryokan fashioned for the Tokyo dweller, which has meant grafting an ancient Japanese way of living onto a distinctly modern high-rise tenement in the city’s core. For the purposes of my first four days in Japan, it has been my proverbial bunker—my escape from an imaginary nuclear fallout.

Aside from the lack of food rations, all around me are the crucial components of survival—tiny stove, hot water heater, microwave, mini-fridge, shower, toilet, and sink. Like a bear in hibernation, the man above me has packed an entire life’s-worth of necessary vestiges into the 6’x2’ rectangle that he inhabits. Held on the rafters above his bunk are coat hangers bearing dress shirts and suit jackets. There is a space heater directed toward him from the opposing bedpost. Alarm clock, toiletries, spare batteries, miscellaneous supplies (rubber bands, pens), and night clothes have been neatly prepared on a mock nightstand. Slid between two shelves of a plastic cupboard is a see-thru storage container full of clothing and other living accoutrements. He’s even wrapped aluminum foil around the part of the fluorescent light directly facing him, to avoid having to look at it before lights out at 11pm every night.

The guesthouse itself is a pretty understaffed operation, with three employees taking on all of the various duties from management and check-ins all the way to room cleanings. That’s because the establishment itself is quite small—only four rooms, each fit to hold either 4 or 12 people, on the third and fourth floors of an otherwise nondescript building. Most rooms are predominantly if not all male, save for one 4-person room reserved only for women. For security reasons, there is close to no indication whatsoever that the building holds a guesthouse, if you don’t count the microscopic hand-written sticker on the vestibule’s mailbox. The first floor is home to an innocuous-looking bar & restaurant, and walking up the back staircase to the secret elevator at the end of a long hallway feels like passing into a poor man’s Batcave. It took me nearly an hour to initially find the place—their reasoning for the air of secrecy is so that non-guests can’t sneak into the place because there is no reception desk and certainly no concierge service. Like most of Japan as a whole, the guesthouse seems to put its trust in the integrity of its residents.

The 12-person room adjacent to my own. Unlike mine, this room has a “common area” off to the side, which boasts a kotatsu, mini-TV, and wireless internet. It does tend to act as a central meeting place for the house’s residents (for lack of any other locale), usually in the company of one or another huge bottles of sake.

I find myself wondering how the man above me, especially at his age, can stand to live in a place like this for so long. There is absolutely no privacy, hardly a clear space to move around, and an endless stream of obnoxious tourists to have to put up with. But perhaps, then, it isn’t a choice. Maybe he has financial obligations—aging parents he had to put in a Home, paying child support for a divorced wife and their three kids in a suburban mansion, the ridiculous sum of money he lost in his younger days to pachinko. I daresay that anyone would choose to live like this if they could help it. But financially, it’s a great move. According to The Guardian, Tokyo is now ranked as the most expensive city in the world to live in. And despite a price tag that is still high given how little you’re actually getting, as mentioned in my last post, the guesthouse is by far the cheapest housing option in all of Tokyo, and is even cheaper if you rent out a bunk for weeks or months at a time. This is largely due to its location in an exceptionally convenient neighborhood. What the man above me makes up for in travel time and metro fare, he pays for with having to perpetually live with three other strangers in a room that’s not his own. But in the end, I have to concede that in a city like Tokyo—where pedestrians don’t jaywalk, shopkeepers never frown, and salary men routinely put in 60-hour workweeks—you can convince yourself of living through most anything.

(More on fitting in, social awkwardness, off-color sexual practices, lawlessness, Harajuku girls, nay-saying, and Spirited Away in Pt. III of this post).

Tokyo Does New Year’s: 東京 (Pt. I)

Since four of the six Americans in Taigu decided to go back home this winter for at least part of their vacation, it was up to me (and James) to decide how we would spend our two months outside of the states. Though a part of me also yearned to go home, I knew that it would ultimately be best to stay in Asia for a couple of reasons. The first was the lack of adequate funds. I am determined to finance any and all travel during these two years with my own money—money that I’ve either earned from teaching or that I am getting in the form of In-Asia travel grants from Shansi. The money that I’ve saved so far could have taken me back to New York, but I knew that I would get more mileage financing two months of exciting (and comparatively inexpensive) travel in Asia rather than simply the cost of that roundtrip ticket. The second reason was that I already knew that I wanted to go home this summer, thus making a winter visit something of a moot point. The half-way mark was the time that I promised friends and family I would return home, and it is the time that makes the most sense logically. “Summer in the city,” as it were, has become both the highlight and saving grace of my pre-college friendships, as I’ve reliably been home for every summer for as long as I can remember.

But deciding to travel to Japan in January was nothing if not a small concession to make. Being in a first-world country, where I can drink water out of the faucet, sit on a toilet seat, and occasionally eat food off of the floor is a country as good as any to whet my appetite for all of the comforts of home. I wanted to return to Japan this winter for a few reasons. The first was to see some of my friends who currently live here for one reason or another—Shansi, JET, otherwise employed, or studying abroad. It would follow that a disproportionate number of my friends have since moved to Japan from their various residences in America. But I guess this is a somewhat logical revelation, considering that I took Japanese at Oberlin with a number of now-graduates, and studied abroad in Osaka with even more. The second reason was to get a glimpse at a parallel universe of sorts—a life path that I gave up in my move to China. After studying abroad in Japan in the fall of 2007, moving to Japan, potentially teaching English, and continuing to study Japanese was the track I had set myself on. But though I didn’t end up returning to Japan, it was that experience, and that desire to teach and learn in a new place, that I would later relate to a panel of board members in the living room of Shansi House just less than a year later.

And so it eventually fell to me to make that pursuit a reality. I booked my ticket to Japan for New Year’s Eve, the hands-down low point in a succession of costly flights for days on either side, slated to get into Tokyo at 3:30pm from Beijing. This was surprisingly fortunate, though, because unlike China, Japan celebrates its New Year according to the Western Calendar, thus giving me a good reason to be in Japan for its biggest event of the year, and one that I had missed during my last time in the country. When I arrived, I was met with the kind of culture shock best exemplified by first-time visitors to New York being air-lifted into the center of Times Square. Tokyo, a city I had visited twice previous but only for a few days each time, was a remarkably different Japan than the one I remembered from two years ago. But then again, Tokyo is a remarkably different place from most other cities on earth, not to mention much of the rest of the country. Spending New Year’s here would certainly prove to be worth its metro fare in experience.

As one might expect for its most important holiday, New Year’s carries with it a lot of customs in Japan. Businesses all over the country are shut down, as the New Year is traditionally a time to spend with family. There is no shortage of traditional foods—the two most famous probably being soba, noodles that symbolize longevity, and mochi, sweet, sticky rice cakes. Sending New Year’s Day postcards is also an extremely customary practice, similar to the American practice of sending Christmas cards. Homes and clothing are supposed to be cleaned by New Year’s Eve, providing the New Year with a fresh start. To that end, all responsibilities must also be completed before the New Year, leaving worries and troubles behind, so that January 1st is free of work and stress. January 1st is an extremely auspicious day, traditionally believed to be representative of the whole year that has just commenced.

Hatsumode, the first temple visit of the yearanother Japanese tradition on New Year's Day.

2009 hasn’t been the best year for me in many respects, but it has been invaluable as a time for growth—seeing me through two distinct benchmarks in my life: graduating from Oberlin and moving to China. If I were one for sentimental monikers, this past year would almost certainly be entitled “My Shansi Year” in the hardcover bound, sepia-toned photo album of my life, as the fellowship has carried me through most all aspects of it—from the Winter Term TESOL class to the summer of intensive language study, all the way up to providing me with the funds necessary to take me to Japan this winter. But what it didn’t prepare me for, with five hours left in 2009, was what was about to happen next.

Upon arriving at Narita airport, I took a series of trains totaling close to two hours to my hole-in-a-wall guesthouse, centrally located on the Yamanote metro line that runs in circles around the heart of the city. After depositing my bags and with no phone to avail me, I fired up my computer, eager to uncover what could possibly be done alone on New Year’s Eve in Japan. I knew that some of my friends already had plans—Sam was doing it big with visiting Oberlin friends, Jazmin was most likely spending time with her host family, Liz would be bustling around the Tokyo area—but in my limited frame of reference, I had no means to contact them (I later learned that the pay phones in Tokyo are surprisingly effective). I relegated myself to the thought that perhaps I should visit the Tokyo Tower to see its New Year’s Eve countdown—Japan’s rendition of the ball drop in Times Square. It hardly mattered that it was a tradition that I turned my nose up at every time I saw the festivities on TV at home, smugly remarking that I would never be one of those disillusioned foreigners, freezing to death in the crowded cold, waiting simply to see a ball drop. This time I was that foreigner, and with that, I was content.

What I missed out on on New Year's Eve in Tokyo (photo courtesy of Reuters).

But upon further consideration, standing alone in a dense crowd on New Year’s Eve among flickering flash bulbs and balloons didn’t seem like the most uplifting predicament to find myself on what is said to be the most auspicious of days for the coming year. I sauntered into the adjacent room of my guesthouse, and, after paling it up with a couple of other loners—Andy, a white Japan native with missionary parents, and Nimrod (yes, that’s his real name—he showed me his passport to prove it), an Israeli on a two-month journey around the world—we decided to go to Shibuya and check out the club scene there.

Let me preface this next segment by saying that I am nary a man who enjoys going to da club in the states, let alone in Japan. In fact, clubs for me in many ways are the antitheses of a good time. I spent too much of my study abroad experience at the abysmally sketchy, foreigner-saturated Club Pure as the all-night weekend entertainment option of choice. To be fair, I have fond memories of it now simply in the retrospective sense, and there have been some other gems in my time, but for the most part, house parties and bars have always been my preference. To that end, I was a little unenthused about the choice of locale, but I decided it best, in a foreign land with foreign people, not to make waves on my very first night.

*

It is a bit ironic, in recounting the night’s events, the mere chronology of the previous two days. On the day before I flew to Japan, I watched the movie The Hangover with Jordan at his apartment in Beijing. And when I woke up on New Year’s Day in the room of my guesthouse in Tokyo, I had a déjà vu moment from an experience that wasn’t even my own—perhaps due to being blind-sided by the very same affliction. The night’s turning point can be traced to ungodly-long lines to get into the club (there were three separate ones), and the proximity of a convenience store selling alcohol three and four times cheaper than that sold inside the club’s doors. Once there, we met up with a few of Andy’s other insta-friends who had also stayed at the guesthouse, and after that, it was club, KFC, karaoke (in roughly that order), before I was tucked neatly into bed at about 5:30am the next morning. I did know unequivocally, though, that by the end of the night I had already spent close to $100 of my allotted $1000 for three weeks in Japan—$60 for four nights at my guesthouse (the absolute cheapest boarding establishment in the city, I might add, in my eternal bargain-hunting), $4 on transportation, and $30 for the club’s entrance fee (decidedly not a bargain in any way).

Incredibly long lines and throngs of people at Meiji Shrine on New Year's Day, so much so that police barricades had to be enforced.

If the Eve celebrations then were in some ways off-color (though to be sure, the club was absolutely brimming with other young Japanese and foreigners), I was determined to do New Year’s Day the right way. New Year’s Day in Japan is traditionally a time of firsts. Hatsuhinode is the first sunrise of the year, and Hatsumode, the first trip to a shrine or temple. My first sunrise was at about noon, if you don’t count the dim haze that dotted the sky by the time the trains started running again and I was walking back to my guesthouse in the morning. But my first temple visit was right on the money. I chose to go to Meiji Shrine in Harajuku, largely because it was one I did not have time to fully experience when I was last in Tokyo, and it is also touted as the most popular, attracting several million people during the first three days of the New Year. The atmosphere was surprisingly relaxed and lively, as people bustled around the large park and delicious food vendor stalls were set-up all over the place. As expected, though, it was insanely crowded, and I spent about two hours in line—long enough to eventually see the sunset—waiting for my chance to pass through the temple’s gates and give my wishes for the year.

Meiji Shrine was lined with lottery booths where for a 100 yen you could get your fortune told on a slip of paper. Those with unfavorable ones were instructed to tie them to a mesh of fence wiring, effectively nullifying them.

Surprisingly, and in something of an aberration, I decided not to make resolutions this year. In years past, there have been the usual staples of “write more,” “get stronger,” and “work harder,” not to mention the overarching “no McDonald’s or Burger King” ever since I first saw the movie Super Size Me over five years ago. And it’s not that I want to give those up (in fact, I’d probably add “cook more” to that list too). But I’m learning more and more that I’m my own harshest critic. I hold myself to standards that are needlessly unrealistic sometimes, and I feel that this year, I had better allow myself time to feel good about what I am doing rather than constantly fret about what I’m not doing well enough. If anything, my resolution this year will be to do more things that surprise me, that scare me, or that flat-out throw me for a loop. And I feel that this vacation—getting lost, not knowing what’s coming next, and subjecting myself to the follies of adventure—will be a great first application of that.

(More on Japanese ryokans, Boo Radley, provisions to survive a nuclear fall-out, lifestyles of the young and the thrifty, the Batcave, and pachinko debts in Pt. II of this post).

Travel Breeds Stressful, Crippling Discontent

I may have just come up with a new namesake for this blog. The word “travel,” at once synonymous with incredible freedom and exhilaration, is also implicated with a fair degree of contempt. Simply reading a few other travel blogs of late has made me increasingly aware of the joys and perils that travel can take, and how easily one might become burnt out by the very thought of it—opting to spend a lazy evening abroad, for example, eating microwave popcorn and watching re-runs of Seinfeld, for want of visiting yet another tourist site or ancient ruin. Whenever you travel, you run the risk of having everything you planned for go horribly wrong at a moment’s notice. But you also learn how to roll with the punches. Take travel in China for instance. For anyone who hasn’t experienced the great Chinese rail network already, I urge you to try it out. I can assure you that it is an once-in-a-lifetime experience.

The first thing you notice on the train is the stares—wide-eyed, bewildered glances from people of all kinds, looking you over and whispering about your foreignness to their seatmates as soon as you’ve passed. Then comes the smell—an incredibly pungent combination of waste, human refuse, and cigarette smoke. The smoking section on the trains is technically confined to the areas between cars, but opening doors and a general carelessness about smoking in China on the whole hardly confines it in the least. Once the train begins moving, you start to get an uncomfortable cold feeling in the toes of your feet. That's because overcrowding and a routine lack of heating translate to long standing train rides where your feet are most vulnerable to the elements. To top it all off, blaring on loop from the speakers on overnight trains is the same, wretched Kenny G “jazz” ballad that is criminally popular in China (according to Wikipedia: [Kenny G's] music is noticeably popular in China. His recording "Going Home" is often played at closing time at public places or at the end of classes at schools), leaving you feeling as a passenger that you would rather be propelling toward the end of the universe than stand to be on the train any longer.

This all brings me, of course, to my upcoming plans for winter break. I feel so extremely fortunate to have not one, but two two-month long vacations during the year as a teacher at Shanxi Agricultural University, and privileged to have the luxury of a $1500 check each year to supplement travel just for being a Shansi Fellow. One break is in the winter from the end of December to March and the other is in the summer from the end of June through September. Never again in my wildest dreams will I have a job that pays me to travel for four months out of the year, so you can be sure that I will be making the most of it. This winter, I will be traveling to three countries, and at least seven major cities/regions. I will be spending three weeks in Japan, two weeks in India, and the rest of my time in China.

But there is one key problem: India. The Indian Visa is notoriously hard to obtain, even for U.S. citizens living in the states, let alone for U.S. nationals who don’t. After an interminable poring over of online materials—documents, rules, regulations, exceptions—I was essentially left with two options. The first would be to have my visa done in Beijing—using my work permit as proof of residency—but that process would have taken five to six days, more time than I would be spending in Beijing before my plan to go to India. The second was to express mail my passport back to the states and get it processed in New York. This too had its own share of difficulties, though this time largely due to my own lack of foresight. My only proof of identity besides my passport is my driver’s license—needed for the visa application—which upon recent inspection, expired five months ago, and requires an in-person eye exam to get renewed. So it looked as if both options were no-gos. It was especially frustrating because this issue could have easily been resolved with just the slightest bit of planning on my part—going to Beijing one week earlier to drop off my passport and get it processed before my trip to Japan, or renewing my driver’s license when I was at home during the summer. As a person who prides himself on his prudence (though admittedly, not my punctuality), this came as an incredible blow to nearly everything that I stand for. Miraculously, however, a third option arose.

After a few calls to the Visa Application Center in Beijing and a great deal of hoop-jumping, it turned out that I could have a proxy deliver visa materials to be processed on my behalf. I enlisted the generous help of my friend Jordan who I was staying with in Beijing and got to work. After a day spent printing, copying, and meticulously filling out application materials, I left a stack of papers, a wad of 100 yuan bills (the visa to India is expensive), a pre-paid express mail envelope, and a list of instructions in Jordan’s care. The process, ideally, will look something to this effect: I fly to Japan. Almost immediately upon landing, I express mail my passport to Jordan’s apartment in Beijing. Jordan goes to the Visa Application Center and delivers my application on my behalf. He receives the passport back in five to six business days. He then express mails my passport to the house in Machida, Tokyo, where I will be boarding with two of the other Shansi Fellows. I fly back to China.

All of this is supposed to happen over the course of a short three weeks. It is incredibly risky and riddled with any number of potential mishaps along the way. But what’s the fun of being young without taking some absurd risks? And thus, with the hope that everything goes smoothly, here is the tentative breakdown of my winter itinerary:

China
12.28-12.31.09: Chaoyang, Beijing

Japan
12.31.09-1.4.10: Shinjuku, Tokyo
1.4-1.8.10: Kutchan & Sapporo, Hokkaido
1.8-1.16.10: Machida, Tokyo
1.16-1.22.10: Hirakata, Osaka
1.22-1.23.10: Machida, Tokyo

China
1.23-1.26.10: Chaoyang, Beijing

India
1.26-1.27.10: Delhi, Haryana
1.27-2.3.10: Madurai, Tamil Nadu
2.3-2.5.10: (a series of overnight buses and trains from Madurai to Jagori)
2.5-2.9.10: Jagori, Himachal Pradesh
2.9-2.11.10: Delhi, Haryana

In India, there is also a chance of going to visit Goa, Mumbai, Kolkata, or Chennai while in the Madurai area, but they are all train rides away and have yet to be fully mapped out. I get back to China on February 11th, and from there don’t have any really concrete plans as to what to do until school starts up again at the beginning of March. I might decide to stay in Beijing, visit Anne’s extended family in Shandong Province, or travel to any number of my students’ hometowns who have invited me to stay with them for Spring Festival. Spring Festival in China is better known to the outside world as Chinese New Year, which takes place this year on February 14th.

All of this traveling is exciting, but at the same time, incredibly ambitious—more work perhaps than a rightful “vacation” should be, where the only two bullet points on my daily agenda consist of (a) sitting in the sun and (b) sipping mojitos. Needless to say, I’m not even going to a warm enough place that the first option is possible. And everyone knows that mojitos are poorly made in Asia. Travel will largely be stressful because I’ll be alone in Japan and don’t have a phone that works outside of China. In Japan, I will be traveling on my own, but in India, I’ll have a travel partner in Anne, and in both places, I’ll be staying in the company of incredibly hospitable friends at each leg of the journey. I have set a budget for myself of $1000 each for both Japan and India, not including the cost of airfare, but including all requisite travel within the country, in addition to the usual staples of food, lodging, and souvenirs. However, for some reason, I have a feeling that that money will go quite a bit farther in India than it will in Japan.

In spite of all of my nay-saying, I am reminded now, on the eve of my long vacation, of why I love to travel in the first place. At first it was an excuse to see landmarks and touristy sights, but quite frankly, I like to travel now simply to see the people I care about seeing. Visiting other countries interests me infinitely more when there is someone I know living there that I can make the journey to see. To that end, I am proud to say that by mid-February, and if all goes well regarding the Indian Visa, I will have seen all 18 of the Shansi Fellows currently in Asia, save for the five in Indonesia. I have already seen Adam and Alex when I went to visit Kunming over Chinese National Week in October. I just saw Mia at her new digs at Beijing Normal University. I will be staying with Sam, Erika, and Ben in Tokyo. I will first see Kelly in Madurai and then travel up to northern India to see Jenna and Anya. And I’m in the process of scheduling my next big trip—to Indonesia in August to see the rest of the Shansi folks there. By all accounts, it’s really just an exercise in opportunism, in which I am already well versed. Shansi, rightly, has done its job—placing us all in sites across Asia and giving us money to visit each other during holiday breaks. With most all of the Fellows working at below-minimum wage salaries (including yours truly), the prospect of free housing—not to mention a warm, familiar face—in a land abroad is an enticing one indeed.

A Very Taigu Christmas

It occurred to me recently that receiving coal for Christmas in Taigu might not be the worst thing in the world. Coal powers everything here, and a stocking-full could at least heat a moderately-sized home for the majority of a day. Come to think of it, I think we all got coal in our stockings this year. Coal dust in the air, coal energy in our pipes, coal stacked high in mounds where we live, and even coal on the trains from workers who shovel the black stuff into furnaces at stop points.

The holidays came and went this year with little more than a blip on the radar. It was almost the complete antithesis of my childhood yearnings of Christmas. Full of Miracle on 42nd Street-mirth, I used to window-shop down Fifth Avenue with my mom, taking careful note of the elaborate displays in storefront windows. Growing up with my family in Brooklyn, we didn’t have many traditions—no tree past age ten (it became too much of a hassle in our small apartment), no church services, and no holiday ham. Hell, we didn’t even put milk and cookies out for Santa. In fact, the only real Christmas tradition I’ve had in recent years is walking with my friends Scott, Xavier, and Julie to the gigantic tree on 48th Street from Scott’s house in Greenwich Village, all while swigging warm brandy eggnog and dirty White Russians to keep from freezing on the four-mile roundtrip trek. We were an unlikely bunch of foreigners to be holiday ambassadors to Taigu. With at least two atheists/agnostics, a couple Jews, and only one dedicated Christian, we may not have all had the most traditional Christmas upbringing, but all of us save for Anne had celebrated it in one way or another.

Religious discord aside, it certainly didn’t mean that we were any less capable of bringing authentic Christmas cheer to China. In Taigu, the holidays took a few different forms. First came the start of Hanukkah, where Anne made doughnuts (sufganiyot) and potato pancakes (latkes) as traditional foods for the Jewish holiday. The oil that both foods are fried in is symbolic of the miracle of oil that lasted for eight days instead of one. Cheese, yogurt, and other dairy products are also very prevalent on Hanukkah—the reason for which is quite interesting, though more than a bit gruesome. Anne brought those latkes as her contribution to the Christmas party we had on the Sunday night before Christmas. The party itself had two aims. The first was to have another home-cooked dinner reminiscent of the weekly tradition of Open Mic Night. And the second was to use a dinner together as a festive occasion to exchange our Secret Santa gifts.

Weeks before, we decided to do Secret Santa between the six Americans and our German friend Matthias, due largely to the exuberant urging of 2nd year Fellows Nick and Anne who had much success with the outing last year. But with an overwhelming lack of suitable gift-buying establishments in Taigu city, we all decided to make a trip out to Taiyuan to test our luck. Inevitably, we ended up at Walmart, the conglomerate-to-end-all-conglomerates, which is quickly becoming a mainstay of China’s major metropolitan cities (and in this case, Taiyuan too). But you really know you’re in another country when Walmart is less a human rights blemish than it is a model of progressivism. With legalized work unions and above average salaries, Walmart in China is doing its part to reverse some of the traditional work condition stereotypes that foreigners have of China. They’re even helping to save the planet—abiding by Beijing’s law to charge extra money for plastic bags in order to discourage their use. It’s too bad, though, that few, if any, of those same policies are carrying over stateside.

Just one of the many apple gift boxes that we received from our students on Christmas Eve.

Like a bad made-for-TV family Christmas movie, no Christmas party would be complete without its fair share of high jinx. And I certainly had mine. On the day of the party, I spent the well-below-zero afternoon at both the supermarket in town and the local open air vegetable market with a couple of the other foreigners, trying to prepare ingredients for the night’s dinner. I came out of it with armloads of stuff—a huge carafe of oil, flour, fresh tofu, eggs, garlic, and more vegetables than I could use in one meal. We made it back to the house and got to work. Since me and James’ kitchens are equipped with hot plates instead of gas stoves, we have since moved all cooking operations to Anne’s room and Dave and Gerald’s house. Responsibilities divided, we split up camps and got to work. I started working on my dish of choice—honey garlic tofu, inspired by the one infamously served up at the Mandarin in Oberlin. Things started out well—I got the tofu, crispy on the outside and soft on the inside, laid out to dry on a bouquet of napkins. But as I was getting them ready to be honeyed and garlic-ed, something went wrong, and I was left with a swirling vat of burnt garlic, liquid honey, and oil-heavy tofu. After a little patchwork, the tofu came to be edible again, but it was definitely not my best effort.

What was worse was after I left Anne’s house to retrieve my Secret Santa gift…from my refrigerator. For you see, my Secret Santa recipient was none other than our German friend Matthias, whose love of alcohol is unparalleled among anyone I’ve ever known. I got him a gift I knew he would love—German beer—and enough of it to max out our 100 yuan limit for gifts. I put the beers in my freezer to stay cold after we got back from Walmart, and it was only until that moment, minutes before the start of the Christmas party, that I discovered that alcohol can indeed freeze. The carbonation from the beer had forced some of the liquid to break the seals from the tops of the bottles and spill out (and subsequently freeze) against the walls of my fridge. Quickly, and almost instinctively, I threw the bottles under hot water in my bathroom sink and started praying. I know it’s the thought that counts, but this was pushing it. 100 yuan worth of beer deemed almost undrinkable, for a person who loves the stuff more than most things in this world. It seemed more cruel than it was charitable. Thankfully, most of the ice liquefied fast, and after drying them off and boxing them up, we were off to David and Gerald’s house, where I left my topsy-turvy present parked right next to the space heater all throughout dinner.

If the lead-up to Christmas dinner was full of Jingle All the Way-schadenfreude, then the meal itself was like the heartwarming A Christmas Carol-ending. We ate and drank merrily, all to a playlist filled with equal parts “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” Wham!, The Ventures, and Mariah Carey (you can guess which one was my contribution). In addition to the beers I got for Matthias, Nick bought an entire keg from Walmart back to Taigu for all of us to share. Finally, it was time to open the gifts. All of them were remarkably well-chosen—I think demonstrating how much we’ve really learned about each other since coming here. It’s crazy to think about how far we’ve come from complete strangers to family in a matter of a few short months. For the last gift, we even had to leave the house—part of a scavenger hunt that Anne concocted for Nick, all with a fair share of edible delights and limericks along the way.

The incredibly thoughtful presents that Nick got me for Secret Santa: (1) A yoga mat, as I had been lamenting the lack of suitable exercise equipment in Taigu; (2) A jump rope, for having stolen his to use on one occasion; (3) A bottle of hand lotion, since the incredible dryness of Taigu has made my skin itchy; and (4) A USB vacuum cleaner, because I am so OCD-meticulous about the cleanliness of my workspace.

Christmas Eve itself was similarly nontraditional. On James’ suggestion, and in spite of a fair degree of skepticism on my part, we decided to sing Christmas carols. At first we had debated caroling door-to-door, but seeing as how cold it was, we opted to stay in one place. The locale of choice turned out to be the graduate students’ dormitory, where the majority of our students live. After downloading and printing out copies of the lyrics, we set-up shop in the first floor lobby. We had everything from “Winter Wonderland” to “White Christmas” and “Silent Night” to “Jingle Bell Rock.” It started out slow, but a crowd quickly gathered through word of mouth, and by the time we were finished singing, about 60 people, many of whom were our students, had congregated in the lobby to see us. Several of them bombarded us afterwards with apples, a tradition on Christmas Eve in China presumably because its name, pingan jie, shares the first character with the Chinese word for apple (pingguo). The caroling itself was more fun than I could have imagined. For someone who can barely hold a tune normally, I was remarkably unselfconscious—probably owing to the positive and tolerant attitude that everyone had about the occasion. As sad as it is to say, it was probably the closest I’ll ever get to being a rock star in China. Post-caroling, a couple of my students invited me up to their room and we continued to sing and chat well into the evening until the dorms closed at midnight.

After caroling and cajoling with my students, I headed back with Anne, Lynn, and Gerald to Anne’s house. We made smoothies using the enormous array of fruits we had received as gifts from our students, and some yogurt we had in our fridges that we wanted to use up before leaving Taigu. They turned out miraculously well and proved to be just what my Vitamin C-starved body was in the market for. After our smoothies, I opened up the sky lantern package that one of my students had given me as a Christmas gift. She told me that it would be most fortuitous to fly it on Christmas Eve. It was a remarkably simple contraption—basically a huge sheet of paper fashioned around a metal frame that sits atop a square-sized piece of wax. The idea is that you write your wishes on the paper, light the wax, and once the balloon is full of air, send it up into the sky. Though, logistically, the lantern is an environmental nightmare (you don’t know where the lantern will land, and if it will potentially set fire to anything), it is also an extremely romantic notion—a group of friends jotting down their hopes for the New Year and sending them off into the cool night air. At about 1am we walked to the middle of the street just outside of our houses, and in a clearing bereft of trees, sent our sky lantern—now just the newest in a line of holiday traditions—up into the sky, taken by the wind past the tops of houses, and eventually out of sight.

Mind you, this was not the four of us in Taigu, but it may as well have been, holding the sky lantern just moments before sending it off (photo courtesy of skylanterns.cn).

Banquets, Bribes, and Other Excuses for Grade Inflation

As teachers at SAU, we don’t make a whole lot of money.  I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it so explicitly before, but the monthly haul amounts to just under the American equivalent of $400.  But it’s not all bad.  Since it’s far below the minimum-wage level in the states, it’s the reason why I got approved on a deferment from my student loans for the next two years.  And because there isn’t an actual check to cash, it also writes me off from taxes.  Our pay is essentially a translucent slip of paper—more suitable perhaps for making rice candy than accounting—on which is written our name, the date, and the sum of money we are entitled to, along with our boss’s signature.  Once a month, we turn that slip over to the reception desk at the building that handles expenses in exchange for a stack of crisp 100 yuan notes, counted and neatly re-counted by a charming man seated next to a vault, of which both the room to the vault and the vault itself are unlocked, often with stacks of money pooled casually over the various tables in the office.

Although it’s not nearly enough to live on in a place like New York, in Taigu it does me just fine, and I often find myself saving at least ¾ of that paycheck every month.  After all, with rent and utilities paid for, our only real expenses are for food and everyday living necessities.  But with that said, if some of my students decide to supplement that paycheck with some extra money of their own accord, who am I to stop them?  Heading into grading season, we thought up a little joke.  Give students the option of paying 10 yuan for every extra point they want added to their final semester grade.  That translates to about $15 to go from a B to an A and $90 to go from a zero to a passing 60.  Counting at least five students in each of my classes whose names have been on the roster but who have never once attended class, I fancied myself becoming a much richer man as I scrimped to save money for a two-month vacation outside of China.

A sampling of some of the food and gifts that my students presented me with on my last day of class.

In truth, grading was the hardest part of the end-of-semester work obligations.  I now understand all too well the pressures that teachers face having to cope with students who desperately implore you to raise their grade against all rationale.  At the beginning of the year, one of the central tenets in my syllabus was that, “if you ask me to raise your grade without good reason, I will lower it.”  Most of my students' grades ended up falling in the A/B range, with a few notable D and F exceptions.  As it turned out, I ended up giving the worst grade in one of my classes to the student who came in with the highest English level.  My reasoning?  50% of my grading criteria is for attendance and participation, and though his English was superb, he rarely ever came to class.  Though prior English knowledge is preferred for more interesting and lively classes, my primary objective is to reward effort and improvement in a student's English fluency.  Luckily for me, many of my students are making noticeable gains in that department. 

At the end of Semester One as a teacher, I can safely say that I've really begun to get a hang for the job.  By now, my classes are also home to a fair share of stragglers—students who aren't on my roster, but who want free English lessons—who I am happy to invite to sit in on my classes, so long as they don't try to dominate discussions.  Everything from lesson planning to the actual teaching itself has gotten easier too.  Whereas before I'd spend whole afternoons and evenings racking my brain over what to teach, I can often wake up a couple of hours before class with a vague idea and be able to plan out a cohesive and (sometimes) engaging 2-hour lesson over breakfast and a morning podcast.  Time management during class itself has gotten better too.  I no longer need to cue myself on when to start and stop activities, but instead, let them grow organically depending on a class's interest and relative ability.  I am proud to say that I now know all 120 of my students' names by heart and can take attendance without calling on them.  I've also begun to realize that teaching is a lot like comedy.  With three more-or-less identical classes dedicated to each new lesson, by the third class you start to figure out what works and what doesn't.  Every class is an opportunity to try out your best material and see what your students respond most to.

As an end-of-semester gift, one of my students got me a set of Chinese shot glasses and another brought me an expensive bottle of mare's-milk wine from her hometown of Inner Mongolia.  I still haven't brought up the nerve to try it yet, but it sure came in a nice package.

Trusting the advice of my Senior Fellows, I decided to administer an oral skit as a substitute for a written final examination at the end of the semester.  Our bosses only really care that we have some sort of exam to close out the year, but never specify what kind.  What's more, an oral skit makes it that much harder for our students to cheat in a country where plagiarism is hardly frowned upon.  As a result, I was eager to see how the students I had come to really know and respect over the last four months would handle a year-end staple that has been utilized in nearly every language class I've ever taken.  I gave them about two weeks to prepare for the 15-minute skit—letting them choose small groups of four or five to work with, having them write a script of the appropriate length from scratch, workshop it with me one-on-one to go over errors, and finally perform it in class.  The topic I gave them was simple.  You and your group-mates find yourselves on a hot air balloon and it is only during mid-flight that you notice it has begun to sink.  The big question: What do you do?

For the most part, I was pleasantly surprised with the kinds of skits my students came up with.  Most were not the most creative I had ever seen, but there were definitely more than a few gems.  Given the material I taught them over the course of the semester—with dating, marriage, and food all making the Top Ten—it's no surprise how some of them turned out.  As one might expect, there was plenty of mid-air hi-jinx, divine intervention, jilted weddings, vengeful lovers, and inter-planetary revelations.  Many borrowed themes from popular American movies like Dirty Harry and Titanic.  In fact, at least a third of them featured a re-working of the scene in Titanic where Jack is standing behind a blind-folded Rose at the ship's bow with her arms spread out before her.  Though I never made props or clothing mandatory for the skit, I was surprised by the lengths to which students “dressed” the part, including one group that brought in a real-life wedding dress with a train.  Many other groups decided to use cross-dressing for comedic effect.  It was particularly hilarious to see some of my normally shyer male students come to life under a delicate coat of blush and eye shadow.  To top it all off, nearly every group employed a carefully-selected playlist of MIDI music tracks from their cell phones, including “Wedding March” and the seminal “My Heart Will Go On.”

Many of my students dressed up to give mock-weddings on board the hot-air balloon before it began to sink.

Having to grade the skits also gave me some unexpected insight into the secrets of teaching.  Take, for instance, your average presentation.  My grading criteria consisted of four parts—clarity, smoothness, vocabulary, and creativity—each weighed differently, and together totaling 100 points.  When it comes down to it, the final was worth about 40% of my students' final grades, which should mean that there is little room for subjective error.  But barring downright unpreparedness on the parts of my students, so much of the skit's grading was left to my own subjective interpretation.  If a skit goes two minutes under the slated time, how many points should you deduct?  Can you really give a number grade for creativity?  How can you rightfully compare presentations that took place four days apart from each other?  How do you cope with your own biases and prevent them from influencing your judgment?  Can you rectify the fact that the first skit will always be graded more conservatively than the last?  I discovered that in the end, my students weren't the only ones to have to trust that I was making a fair and balanced assessment of a semester's worth of their effort in my class.

Me at my first banquet, well before the alcohol really started flowing.

On the days leading up to the end of the semester and the last day of class itself—which I split between performing the last of the skits and having a celebratory party—my students bombarded me with food and gifts.  Needless to say, it's a custom that teachers in America can only dream of.  Teachers are highly respected here in China and it is reflected in both their salary (which is high relative to other non-government jobs) and in the respect it comands from students.  The best that most of my college professors got was a round of applause at their last lecture, and here I was being presented with bags overflowing with fruits, enough packaged snack foods to outlast a nuclear winter, and a number of more pricey gifts including alcohol and porcelain glasses.  One of the sweetest gifts I got was a set of pictures taken of the campus, each signed with a message from one of my students on the back.  At first I figured it was just a ploy to get me to raise their grades, but when practically everyone in my class didn't leave without giving me something, I knew that it was more a token of their appreciation for having me as a teacher, oftentimes the first foreigner they have ever interacted with first-hand.

In addition to all the food and gifts, I was also treated to lavish, end-of-semester banquets with each of my three graduate student classes.  In retrospect, it's hard to tell whether it was as thanks for their final grades or in spite of them.  Going out with some of my students in the past was nothing new.  I had been to more than a few dinners with students and had done karaoke on a few occasions over the course of the past four months.  Even during H1N1 and the campus lock-down, we still managed to find a way out.  Though SAU is contained within a gigantic wall (like all but two universities in all of China), elsewhere on campus, other loopholes were found.  Graduate students were able to climb over shorter sections of the wall and exploit the long section of gravel and trash on the far side of campus that eventually emptied out onto street level.  We even helped to aid and abet Chinese friends by physically belaying them over the wall ourselves.

The entire class managed to squeeze in together at one table during my second banquet.

What was different about the end-of-semester banquets, though, was that it was not simply a handful of students that I would be eating with, but an entire class of 35. In each case, students rented out space in a restaurant for the evening and financed the entire operation themselves. There was more food and drink available than I ever thought possible—indeed, fitting well with the Chinese saying of “eat well, drink well.” It felt incredibly odd to be such a celebrated guest, but it may very well be the only time in my life when, upon my arrival, an entire roomful of people stands up and cheers for me before ushering me into the vacant seat at the head of the table. Being as naive to the situation as I was, I agreed to having the banquets on three back-to-back days over the weekend. Each night started out simple enough with the lot of us eating, laughing, and reminiscing in English and Chinese, but it wasn't long before things got a little dicey, and I quickly realized the ulterior motive of the Chinese banquet—to get the guest-of-honor as wasted as humanly possible. In all three cases, that person was me.

I never anticipated that as a teacher I would be getting drunk with my students, but custom dictated that it was actually disrespectful if I didn't cheers with each of them. At first, we started out with short glasses of beer, but when the beer ran out, we started using bai jiu, the toxic fire liquor that I have become all too familiar with since coming to China. Though my tolerance has improved in China largely because of the heavy drinking culture, I was still in no shape to handle more than 20 shots of 40-proof alcohol over a two-hour dinner, despite how much food I was eating. But try as I might, I couldn't bring myself to refuse since that would make my students lose face. As a result, I did the best that I could, and in most cases, stopped myself at the ultimate extent of my limit. But that wasn't before my students got me to sing both the theme song to Titanic and the first two verses of Biz Markie's “Just a Friend” (before I forgot the rest of the words). Luckily it wasn't just me—when Chinese people get drunk, they sing, and a few of my braver students went on to garner rave applause. At the end of each night—and despite how well-meaning my students were for wanting fun and revelry—for three-nights-in-a-row, I ended up stumbling home more drunk than I'd ever thought possible, having a date with the porcelain goddess, and immediately passing out on my bed. My liver had never more strongly longed to secede from my body. To my students, you might call it a success, but not if you were the expensive dinners that kept getting expelled from my stomach. Still, all of this was just practice. Now that I know the score, the real test will be how well I fare come the end of Semester Two as a teacher at SAU.